She's only 3.

We were snuggling in bed this morning - Mia, Joshka and myself. Well, Josh was determined to stand on my head, balancing on my forehead...it made them both giggle. I knew it had to be about 7am since they were both more than ready to be out of the covers rather than in them, like me. I took a deep breath and prepared for the day, "Right, ready steady..." only to be interrupted by Mia: "Can you say 'DADDY'?" (That's what I thought she said.)
"Yes. 'Daddy'"
"NO - 'Deddy'!" she yelled.
"Deddy?"
"NO! Debbie!"
"Debbie?"
"Hmm!" (nodding) "That's MY name!"
"...OK..?" ????
We got out of bed and I proceeded to make sure they were both warm enough - chasing Mia to put on her pink fleecy gown (she does love pink) as well as Joshka, with his blue starry gown. All the while I was trying to find out who "Debbie" was. No, she is not at Kindergarten. No, she's not the little girl who once came to play when Mia was staying with Jo and David for a weekend. Over breakfast Mia informed me (bear with me - I'm only repeating what she told me) that Debbie was a girl with blonde hair...who Mia brought to Auckland when Mia went to visit a neighbour- not with me - way back when Mia was Daddy's size (not bigger than Mommy, just Daddy) - " a long, long time ago. It's a long drive to Auckland and she was in jail, so I had to save her."
Right, that clears that up then.
It's very interesting and refreshing to get an insight into some of what goes on in her head!

This afternoon I took a walk into town with Joshka in the pram and Mia walking beside it, holding his hand, It was a lovely time - neither of them wanted to let go of each others hands. Eventually (as I had anticipated) Mia's shoe 'bit her' and she opted to ride in the pram as well. (It can accomodate 2 - Mia in the bottom and Josh in the seat on top). It quietened down once she got in and the commentary of where we were going and what we were seeing stopped. Soon she was fast asleep (very rare these days for her to sleep during the day) so I tipped the seat down and tucked her in with the blanket I'd put in just in case. We headed home eventually and I let her wake up naturally, which seems to always be the wiser option. Sure enough, a good mood ensued. I asked her a bit later if she had enjoyed her snooze but she just looked confused.
"Don't you remember your snooze in the pram?" I asked.
A shift in her expression...and then she shook her haid and said: "No. I was just basking in the sun..."

A fly went by

Have you ever caught a fly in your hand? I did last night. Quite pointless really, since the first thing I did was shriek with disgust and shake my hand vigorously to rid myself of the sensation. The fly lived to see another day.

the weather

I thought about mentioning the wonderful run of weather we've been having: cold, crisp but sunny autumn mornings with little, if any, wind and sunny, warm afternoons until about 4pm. I thought about mentioning it, just so I could jynx it into raining...getting a bit lazy about watering the patches of dirt in various parts of the garden - patches where we've sown grass seed. A bit late in the season to be planting grass-we did leave it a bit late, but then, as it turns out, we've had this wonderful run of weather! It also turns out that if you think about mentioning a good run of weather and then think better of it, in case you jynx it, the curse is already cast, you've jynxed it. But I didn't have to water the garden today, and it wasn't heavy rain...not really. More like being in a cloud: wet drizzle. A lot like London, really. An excellent day for mushroom soup, or a few beers in a pub...yes, very Londoney today. But no, I don't miss London! Don't miss having to descale my kettle every few weeks when I get a crunchy bit in my cup of tea..Don't miss the millions of people. Or the nightlife. Maybe the public transport? Hmm, no, not really - I still find driving around in our car a novelty and appreciate the fact that I can wear white and not resign myself to the fact that it'll never be white again. Don't miss the chewing gum on the seats of the bus/train/tube. Don't miss thinking "pence, not cents" every time I write a cheque. Don't miss not being able to find a decent loaf of bread. I miss the people I met. But mostly they were also only transient; they won't be there forever. So it doesn't really count.

I don't mind rain. In fact, I quite love it. That is, when I'm safe and sound inside, marvelling at the size of the drops and the relentless downpour. Perhaps it's because I grew up in Cape Town, where it can rain for 2 weeks nonstop. Admittedly, cycling to school was never a whole lot of fun in that absolute wall of water and blustery wind, but see now, I miss that. I miss the extreme Cape of Storm's weather. Sure London had rain that went on for months (!) but it was a constant drizzle - like being in the cloud - not like it was thrown down upon us. In London one CAN use an umbrella - they work quite well, keeping your head and shoulders dry. It takes a bit of practice though, walking with millions of other umbrella users on a crowded pavement - your eyes water in anticipation of the impending spoke stab. There's a bit of umbrella etiquette too: the bloke walking towards you will most probably hoist his umbrella while you duck yours, but it pays to be on the defensive - those careless idiots who have no spacial concept are a health hazard when dipping their umbrellas to the side to pass by. That said, maybe they do teach umbrella etiquette in the UK. I wouldn't know. Never used umbrellas in Cape Town - no point. There's always the wind, you see. The SOUTH EASTER! The BLACK South Easter...the blustery, ferocious, famous, (usually) GALE force South Easter. Or in winter, the NORTH WESTER! Just try and use an umbrella! It's hard enough trying to keep your skirt from blowing up around your ears! (Never wore skirts much after school! ). I love extreme weather. But I know it's only because I had absolute faith in my safety - I never doubted that I would be fine. I love thunder and lightning, hail...I even love extreme heat. But now that I'm a bit older, I feel a bit different. WIll the house withstand it? What happens if we're struck by lightning? Will those hailstones dent our car!? Think of what it would cost! Is the roof going to blow off? I hear my mother's words in my head - I hear her worrying about the roof blowing away...I remember the absolute faith I had: I'm invincible. Don't worry Mommy.
I hear my daughters voice too: "Don't worry Mummy, I'll hold your hand."

can this be true?

Your Score: Advanced

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 66% Expert!

You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

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Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

tsk tsk

It's been a bleak sporting week in New Zealand with losing in BOTH rugby semi-finals, and... AND losing the netball against England and Australia. There's not been a lot of rugby talk around here, but I'll bet South Africa is just buzzing! After waking up to watch the netball on breakfast tv and witnessing close, but sadly, no cigar matches, we are now focusing our attention to the sailing in Valencia for a NZ win.

In my own little sporting world, I am happy to be playing netball - going to training and a match as well as going to a volleyball practise. I can't seem to get the extra time to do Pilates as well, which I think is the most beneficial thing for me. My body is protesting, I have to admit. First it was my calf muscle goin 'ping' then when I'd recovered enough from that, somthing in my foot went 'snap!' and now my back's 'out'. I know I know I know, but no, I won't stop playing. I feel SO much better (even if it's just my headspace). I need it. Pilates and yoga are great, I enjoy them too, but I need a sport. I'll get there...I will, I will, I will.

I had a lovely bruise to prove that my limp was legitimate. Now, oddly enough (not) the outside of my foot hurts - I guess from walking stangely?

Foiled

Mother's day started off on a rather frightening note with Joshka waking up in the middle of the night really struggling for breath. He had a nasty cough and was completely chesty and wheezy. It was totally scary. Ben was working the nightshift, so I phoned the ambulance station immediately, but he was already on a job. So it was left to me to deal with it. I thought so much of my mother dealing with my asthma attacks when I was a child, and was grateful for the fact that I had someone to help (really nifty being married to a paramedic) and that I had modern medicine at my disposal.
I didn't care that Joshka was now wide awake - my mind was just working over all the options as fast as it could. I located the asthma pump he'd been prescribed about a year ago when he had bronchitus and found the spacer to go with it. We went through to my bedroom where I could sit on the end of the bed and try and put the mask of the spacer over his mouth and nose. Obviously my poor little boy found this weird and stressful and fought and cried and struggled to get away from it. I felt cruel to be 'smothering' him with such force, watching while he cried, for him to take an all important breath. I was prepared to be the monster if only for that little breath, or two, or three. Finally I put it down and held him close and tried to calm him down so he could breathe easier. I carried him through to the lounge, dimmed the lights and sat on the couch with my cell phone, patting his back and listening to his breathing improve. I texted Ben, using the all important phrase "difficulty breathing" and outlined what I'd done and could he come as soon as he could.
Well, he did come, and listened to Joshka's chest. Joshka obligingly coughed and Ben said, "Right, we're going to the hospital. Get something warm for him, and the nappy bag..." I was told to go to bed and get some sleep since it could be a long night.
Joshka was treated for croup and was back in an hour, calm and sleepy - untraumatised. Ben offered to take the rest of the night off and stay home, but I didn't think that was neccesary, so he left again and Joshka slept well till the morning.

We were intending to drive up to Auckland for the next 3 days, but decided against going, opting instead to remain at home where it would no doubt be easier to deal with sick, snotty children, should anything else develop. It was a shame because we were really looking forward to it, but, in the end, we spent a lovely day together at the lakefront. We'll get up to Auckland another time.

moody

It's not like a 'real' job where you can just look busy, nimbly typing away at your computer, or have extended coffee breaks. You can't really fake it. You can't really just call in sick, or let a headache stop you. It's always there. Bad mood: don't feel like being a parent today, or a housewife. Too bad.

I'm glad I'm not a single mother. I have said that since the day my daughter was born. I hear stories of couples with children breaking up and I feel so sad and so sorry for them. At least I have a wonderful partner who I can offload on and negotiate a quick getaway with. I feel like I'm a good mother to my children, but I know I'd be a lot different if I was in this alone. Quick to snap, less inclined to reason...a monster. A scary monster.

I think I know what it is that gets me in these moods every now and then: I get a taste of the working life again. I've just managed to get a heap of work done, and it was something I enjoyed and was happy with - nothing frustrating that had to be redone and redone (a bit bolder, a bit brighter, a bit bigger). I felt like I'd accomplished something and had impressed someone. I wanted to go on. While I was 'in the zone' I wanted to continue, to get all the other loose ends done, to challenge myself, surprise myself...but it was cut short. REALITY. TIme to step up to my 'real' job. For a day or two I have the house tidy and organised, put things in their place, take out the recycling, pay the bills. Then the 'efficient me' dissapates in the futility of the thankless task of keeping the house tidy, having nutricious meals cooked and served and cleaned up after, doing load upon load of washing, changing the sheets, hanging up the washing, taking it down, folding, sorting, putting away, changing nappies, negotiating with my 3 year old and 1 year old...

Having a dishwasher does make a big difference - just one less meaningless task to get done.

I am grateful that Ben does shift work and is at home a lot. He may not be free every weekend, or at home every night, but in comparison with other families, he's home a lot - he has a lot of time with me and the children. I shouldn't complain - I'm not complaining so much as commenting. Blogging. Getting it off my chest so I can snap out of it and create something amazing again...

Maybe it's the moon.

Here we go.

Of course this morning Joshka awoke around 6am, as Ben was getting up for work. Ben deposited him in the bed with me and there we lay and wriggled until Mia woke at 7. He lay still for a bit - the best was when he snuggled closer (forehead on my temple) with his arm around my neck, with a firm grip. I was kicked, had my hair pulled, my closed eyes poked by inquisitive little fingers wanting them open, slapped and kissed. I'm not complaining. Then in came Mia for a snuggle of her own, nimbly avoiding Joshka's proffered kiss. Then everyone UP and out and get ready for the day!

Yesterday, when Josh and I fetched Mia from school, she politely asked if we could PLEASE go to the park QUICKLY before we went home. I explained to her that Joshka and I had not had lunch, so we could go, but only quickly.
"So we can go to the park quickly before we go home so Mommy and Joshka can have lunch?"
"Yes we can."
She screwed up her face in delight, did a little skip, did 2 thumbs up in front of her face and squealed: "CHOICE!".

It hit me. Just then. My children are going to be typical Kiwi kids. And here starts the slang.

Sweet thing

One of the nicest feelings in the world are warm, soft, little baby hands sliding over your cheeks to grab you behind the neck and pull you closer in a loving embrace, with your face in a warm, soft, sweet-smelling baby cheek.

It's morning nap time and I just put down a gorgeous little charmer of a boy, who has the most infectious grin and delightful giggle. He can be very affectionate at times and I just cherish the moment, because, let's face it, it's not going to last!

He willingly gives kisses to everybody just before bed time (at night) with a sweet little smile as he tries to keep his lips closed over his teeth - you can just see the grin trying to pop out. One for Mia (who isn't so fond of this game), one for Daddy, one for Mommy (and anyone else around) and then it's off to the bedroom. Of course then he realises it's all a big trick, because now, horror of horrors, it's sleep time! WAAAAAH. Protest, wriggle, moan...and then succumb to the gentle humming of 'Silent Night' (as started by Ben) to become warm and sleepy in my arms before being gently lowered into his cot and covered with a blanket or two. Then the wriggling about to get comfortable, grabbing ends of the blanket to chew on, rubbing the hands up and down on the sheet, and finally settling into a lovely deep sleep.

Much like his sister, Josh tends to wriggle up out of the blankets until his head hits the top of the cot, which is where he'll stop, leaving behind his blankets. During the night, if he starts wailing, it's usually because he's cold. Or sometimes too hot. Luckily he is quick to settle back down again and go back to sleep. This morning he only awoke at 7.15am - perfect. Mia has her body alarm set to 7am. A quick snuggle in our big bed for everybody and then all up for breakfast.

Having said that, have I now cast the commentator's curse? I hope not.