today's the day

Today's the day I accidentally snowboarded over a cliff (in hindsight I shouldn't have tried to stop, should just have jumped) and fractured my lumbar one, or, if you like, I broke my back. (More dramatic). I had tried to stop but had too much momentum and hoped there would be some sort of ledge to stop me as I slid over, but instead I bumped the back of my head and can clearly remember my thoughts on the way down: "Ow, I bumped my head - shit, I'm free falling...actually, this is quite a cool feeling except I know I'm going to land-wa-" SPLAT. Well, not splat so much as 'flump'. It was a beautiful, crisp, blue-sky morning after a night's snowfall (-10ºC) so I landed in a lovely bed of fresh powder -small consolation to the fiery pain in my back. I groaned and moaned and lifted my knees slightly so it was more comfortable for my back ( feet still attached to snowboard) and tried to concentrate on the cold snow on my back - my instant ice pack. Yelling for help was pointless, there was no-one around just then, but I knew it wouldn't be too long, there were bound to be hundreds of people on this perfect day. I heard a voice at the top of the cliff "Uh oh" and I yelled for help. A lovely Swedish man (young and blonde - surprise!) came to my aid and removed my snowboard for me. I told him where I worked and could he please take it to them and tell them I'd be late...(it was my final run before heading to work as a waitress in an aprés ski bar/restaurant on the slopes). He went to alert the skilift guys who sent the 'banana boat' stretcher guys (2 skiers ski you down the slope in this hammock/stretcher thingy). My Swedish rescuer came back to talk to me and to keep me talking - he was taking his medical training seriously: keep the patient talking. When the guys came to lift me on the stretcher they realised after my screams of agony that there was no way they could lift me - just touching my hips to lift me was excruciating. They enquired as to whether I had insurance, which I did (I was working legally AND I had travel insurance) so they called for the helicopter rescue. All this transpired in German which was a pain, but not as painful as my back. So today is the day I also got my very first helicopter ride. I remember lifting my head up to see the top of the trees but it wasn't really that comfortable or exciting, and the morphine was finally easing my pain and making it tempting to rest my head...Getting the morphine IN was also a process- my veins tend to hide at the best of times, but add -10ºC to the equation...I assure the medic I don't care about the pain in my arm, go ahead and try again. Try again. Maybe this arm? Result.

The hospital was a bizarre experience. All the nurses were nuns. Everyone spoke German. I half thought I'd died and gone to a German speaking heaven. (Not for very long though). It's all a haze - the x-rays, the bed etc... my first clear memory of the hospital is when the dr finally came round to my bedside to tell me what I had done. (I had by now figured out I would be more than just late for work). He began in German, but I couldn't follow. English, please, bitte. Imagine now, a german accent: "You haf broken your back."

-

These words are profound to me. They speak of a different life. A life worth living? Not sure. I cry and wail. "What!? But I can walk!" I assure him.

"No! You cannot valk."

Oh my god.

The nurses and doctors don't seem to understand why I am so upset. Finally, later that evening, when my boss comes to visit me (bringing Ben along too) he finds out exactly what the problem is and explains that I have fractured my spine and won't be able to walk until they put a cast on my back - I'm not a paraplegic. RELIEF!

As it turns out that 3 'skibums' - 2 other boys and myself have had the same injury on the same day. I'm the only one who was helicoptered in though, one guy snowboarded all the way down and went to the dr, who sent him to hospital in an ambulance and the other one walked out, was seen by his doctor and was given a ride in. I didn't know them that well, but since we were all in the same boat, we phoned each other (bed to bed) and compared notes.

As ever, in hospital, ones bowel movements become paramount to whatever condition you're in for. We all had to declare when we'd last gone to the loo and the wait was on for the next installment. Once the 'eagle had landed' we were then hung up by a sling on a hook (all seemed extremely archaic and torturous) and wrapped and cast. Hanging there (face up to the ceiling) waiting for the cast to dry was, um, uncomfortable. Not pleasant. So once cast, it was a bit like being a tortoise. From collarbone to pubic bone - a big barrel cast. Not slimming. Very upright. They cut a hole where my stomach was, never sure why that was, but there you go, I was free, to walk out of there.

busy.

Well what do you know!? I found a moment to get here at last! It's been a busy summer. Alas, it is already Autumn. I remember always writing to my great uncle at this time of year to say how great this time of year was because Spring was finally on it's way and I could look forward to some Summer after having just survived another European winter. Particularly English Winters. Of course I'm now back in the Southern hemisphere and I'm a little sad as I talk to him in my head to wish him a happy birthday, because it means I have the whole Winter ahead of me...His birthday means Spring in the northern hemisphere or Autumn in the southern hemisphere. I also have my little boy's birthday on the very next day and my grandfather's birthday (my Dad's dad) on the following day. I hope my ancestors are watching my delightful little boy on his birthday opening his presents and playing with each thing before being bullied to open the next thing by his excited sister. He delights in the little things (marbles, whistle toy, torch) and is just so delightful. I think he really enjoyed being in the limelight and being sung to (twice!). Blowing out his candles was a breeze and eating sweets and cake and chippies all day (being able to help himself!) was just too much fun! I invited a few people round, deciding to do something similar to Mia's birthday celebrations. Hopefully next year I'll be up to a proper party and the kids would have made some of their own friends. Hopefully Joshy will make some little friends at kindergarten and Mia will no doubt have made some at school.

I've been busy - can you tell? I've started netball training twice a week (Tuesday and Thursday nights) which is great fun - hard work , but I can feel the rewards. I am definitely shaping up and coming down from size 14 to size 12. My weight is still at 70kg, but hopefully I can shift some of that this winter. Volleyball training has also just started, so that takes up my Wednesday nights. It's going to be a bit of a juggle, but I'm enjoying the sensation of feeling fitter. (I still hate running.) I haven't managed to go to Pilates for ages, but maybe when Joshka spends more time at kindergarten later in the year, I'll find myself with some more free time to go and stretch myself on a transformer...

Another reason for the absence of posts had been the crazy social commitments we've had to keep up. It sounds like a movie, but in 2 weeks we had 2 weddings and a funeral. Two of Ben's cousins (sisters) got married - one in Te Puke and one in New Plymouth. It was fun going to a new place - I'd never managed to see Mt Egmont/ Taranaki on my previous visit in 1998 since it was surrounded (hidden) in cloud, but the stunning volcano showed itself to us. (It felt quite bizarre to point out a volcano to my children - not something I ever thought I'd be saying really.) I finally got to wear my RED DRESS with my red shoes and red bag, and I felt great. I actually bought it for a wedding I am attending in Cape Town in oh, 2 weeks time, but it was a great trial run! Felt a million bucks. Our children were superbly behaved at both weddings and we had a lot of compliments from people saying what a credit it was to us as parents. They really made us proud and were good fun to have around. At the wedding in New Plymouth they had a babysitter while we had dinner, and came up after dinner to join in the dancing. Mia loved twirling around like a ballerina and Joshka was content bouncing up and down to the beat. There was a live band which was great. After a while it seemed the sound got louder and louder (too loud for me) so we moved onto the balcony outside (under cover) and danced in the fresh air listening to the rain, the sea and the band. Mia pushed Ben and myself together and told us it was our turn to dance, so we danced arm in arm, going slowly round and round, and it was a perfect moment of happiness for me. My family dancing outside, happy and together. A lovely moment and a memory I hope to keep forever. A photograph couldn't even do it justice, so I just savoured it for as long as I could. I felt truly happy.

My cousin, Andrew arrived after the weddings and we showed him around our town - it is quite spectacular, some of the sites to see. We both enjoyed a late night spa outside overlooking the lake. He enjoyed the children and they loved him and the presents he arrived with! Sadly it was also when one of Ben's ex-colleagues died, so I attended my very first funeral in New Zealand. I took Joshka with me and he was lovely. Ben was one of the pallbearers along with some of his other work mates. Val was a lovely woman and when I see her in my mind's eye I see a smiling face - she was quite jolly and giggly the first time I met her and that first impression is the one that lingers in my mind. She was a thoughtful and generous lady - she gave us a plant (honesty pods) which is my garden. At the end of the service her coffin was lowered to be cremated and a Maori woman (the wife of one of Ben's colleagues) sang a Maori farewell song/lament. It was loud and chilling and almost ancient. It really seemed to make Val's passing so final. It was moving and sad, until I looked down and saw Joshka with his fingers in his ears in silent protest. I nudged Ben and moved back so he could see - not the best moment to have the giggles at a funeral. Luckily I KNOW Val would have been giggling too.